I'll admit that this post has been sitting in my drafts for a while, but after a seemingly innocuous experience yesterday, I felt compelled to come back to it and finish what I started. Yesterday, I went to get an eye exam and order some new glasses, something that I'd been meaning to do for a while but just hadn't got around to it. I went to the same place I had gone previously, so they had my records. I knew it had been a while, but according to their papers, it had been 5 years since my last exam. *Oops!* So they do my pre-exam (that puff of air in the eyes? Hate it!) and then I go in and get my exam from the optometrist. We chat for a few minutes, him asking me if I've had any notable changes in my vision, any headaches, etc. Then he mentions how long it's been since I've had an exam, and says "You must have children or something that kept you away for so long."
Um, NO! If you know me, then you know that I am NOT and NEVER will be a mother. I calmly told him that no, I had gone to graduate school and got my masters degree, to which he replied, "Well that would keep you busy too." And then we moved on with my exam (side note, my vision really hasn't changed, but I got new glasses anyways since mine are so old and worn).
Really, I know he said what he did without any sort of condescension, but it's the idea that as a woman, that's the assumption he made. As a childfree-by-choice woman, it's one of the biggest thorns in my side that one of the biggest definitions of womanhood is being a mother. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike children, I have nieces and nephews that I adore. But being a mother is just not something I have a desire to do, just like skydiving and camping.
I know that there are a lot of arguments out there for motherhood, and I'm not going to get into them and my responses, it's been done by others. Just take my word for it, kids are not for me (or my husband, believe me we wouldn't have gotten married if we didn't agree on that point). Not that the optometrist knew that, and at the end of the day it really doesn't matter what he thought. And while I might not ever have kids, in a few weeks I will have some new cool glasses! #NearsightedFTW