Sunday, March 6, 2011

Hitting a wall.....

So last Thursday was interesting to say the least. Now let me preface this by saying that this is not my first go 'round with working and going to school at the same time. I did the same thing off and on for almost 7 years while working on my bachelors degree. Heck at one point during my senior year I worked, went to classes full time PLUS was an intern at a major sports franchise for a semester so I have a good idea on how much work it is. That being said, my first semester as a graduate student wasn't that bad, pretty much what it felt like when I was an undergrad. However, this semester has been HELL! I have been soooooooooooooo tired and burning the candle at both ends....and this past Thursday it all came to head and I just lost it. I was at work and without going into much detail a co-worker made a comment to me (they weren't being mean or anything, they were just making a comment) and at first I was pissed. Then as I kept working that pissed off feeling turned into tears...and lots of them. I tried to suck it up but I finally had to seek refuge in the bathroom in a stall. After almost 15 minutes of sobbing I got up and tried to clean my face. I took a look at myself in the mirror and I looked terrible.

I knew I couldn't go back to my work area so I turned to our HR manager who was soooooooooo wonderful at listening to me and offering advice. At his suggestion I called it a day and went home to rest and recuperate. Luckily my wonderful husband was still home so he also lent a sympathetic ear and helped me out till I fell asleep. Then I slept the rest of the morning into the afternoon which I know both my body and mind seriously needed.

So as I said, it was an interesting day to say the least. I knew going back to school was going to be hard work but I don't think until this happened I understood just how hard I have been pushing myself. Luckily in my talk with HR they offered to work with me schedule wise so I could have some more time for me. So I'm going to look at my current schedule and see if I can find a few hours a week where I can rest and not feel so rushed. I'm kind of glad that this happened now when I still have time to change because I still have the rest of this semester to finish plus two more to go before graduation. So if you don't hear from me for a while don't worry I'm probably just taking a mental health break.

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