Tuesday, May 7, 2013

I don't want to do it anymore...

Day #6 of the Blogging Challenge: If you couldn't answer with your job, what would you say when someone asks "What do you do?"

I'm going to fudge with this prompt a little bit and allow myself to vent a little....

I've blogged about my frustration at trying to find a job before. Here we are 8 months later and guess what...no progress! I'm still looking for a new job, but to put it in perspective since I graduated last year (on May 12th, 2012 exactly) I've had 4 job interviews....4 interviews in 12 months! I've almost started to lose track at how many positions I've actually applied for, 17 since the beginning of this year...if you haven't guessed already I'm pretty frustrated. 

I know I should be grateful that in this economy I have a job at all, especially one that pays the bills (what bills I have that are my own, stuff like our rent and utilities my husband and I pay together which helps stretch my paychecks). Plus I have picked up a second job for some extra money, but it isn't a regular paycheck (I only work when they have work to be done). My primary job is the one I am trying to move away from. Don't get me wrong, it's been a great place to work while I was in college, single and living at home. But now that I'm married and have grown up I need to move on. The hours aren't that great, I work a lot of nights and weekends so I don't get to spend as much time with my husband, family and friends as I would like. I can't go and do things on the fly in the evenings or the weekends, they have to be planned way in advance so I can request the time off. I don't want to sound like I'm being selfish, but I have friends (and a few family members) I literally have NOT seen in months if not a year. I know with planning on both our parts would make sure that we get to hang out, but really...it would be nice to call say my friend J and be like, "Hey want to go out to dinner on Friday night?" And I know she'd probably be available because she has a Mon-Fri, weekday job. Or I could go see my high school marching band at their contests on a given Saturday, last season was the first time in 10 years that I didn't get to see them at all...granted not the end of the world, but I enjoy being able to cheer on my alma mater and hang out with my friends. Or even just being able to go visit family out of town.... plus the job itself is physically demanding and after doing it for as long as I have it's starting to take it's toll....(I hope I don't sound to pathetic).

So yeah, the frustration level is pretty high. My poor husband and mother have been fantastic at lending an ear when I can't take it anymore. I know the economy isn't great, it's bouncing back but we've got a ways to go. But each week that goes by with no response from job applications or no follow up after an interview, one's self-esteem starts to take a major hit. You can only take "no" so many times before it starts to feel personal. I need a break....I'll keep blogging and working on trying to grow my travel agent career, but don't be surprised if I take some time away for myself....but I'll be back....


  1. Hang in there Rachel. It's everywhere and your frustrations are shared by many. At least you're getting SOME call backs. :/ Sending you hugs and hopes that things turn around soon.

    1. Thanks Hope! I know I'm not alone but it's still hard. I take after my dad that way, we get into an Eeyore type funk and can't seem to shake it. There is change coming, I know it....the waiting is just so hard.